I’ve been told that my mind doesn’t work like other people’s. Thank you? I guess?

I do know that I’ve told my whole like that I am an “overthinker.” I suppose that’s better than being an “underthinker.”

Here are a few examples of how I think:

Photo Radar
We’re being watched constantly! Everybody has a cellphone with camera and video capabilities. Surveillance cameras everywhere. Some cities have photo radar to catch speeders. The camera takes a picture of you in your car, then you get a ticket in the mail! There are two ways around this,
1. Drive so fast that the picture comes out a blur. (You have to do something. You can’t just live on the hope that they’ll forget the take the lens cap off.)
2. Drive in disguise. “Well, your honor, I admit that’s my car, but if you look closely you’ll see it’s Queen Elizabeth the II driving…She’s a known car thief…Ask anyone in Great Britain.”

Snails
Snails, escargot… There are actually “snail farms.” And snails are really expensive. Why? How hard could it be to catch them? You could take one down with a pea shooter. “Dance snail…dance.” Who was the first person to try a snail? “I’ve been eating nothing but grass for decades. I simply must mix it up. Seriously, I’ll eat anything. Even that weird slimy thing.” Or maybe they lost a bet.

Potatoes
Ever forget about some potatoes in the cupboard, go back later and discover that they have grown those eyes? Food is supposed to be dead when you buy it, it’s not supposed to keep growing. How would you like to buy fish sticks, put them in the freezer then come back and find them swimming in the ice tray?

I don’t know how anyone could NOT see the things I do. I guess it’s a matter of not taking anything at face value.

But when I’m in the company of other Funny Keynote Speakers, it all seems quite normal!